defective reasoning


fuckyeahloldemort:

do you ever say something sarcastic and the person you said it to doesn’t understand that it’s a joke but you can’t be bothered explaining it so you just let them think you’re an asshole

(via ichaase)


clamjob:

i can help whoever’s next



How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:
  • *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
  • Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
  • Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
  • Man: I never filled out an application.
  • Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
  • Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
  • Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
  • Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
  • Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
  • Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
  • Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
  • Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
  • Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
  • Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
  • Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
  • Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
  • Employee:
  • Man:
  • Employee:
  • Man: Fuck you, slut.

jaclcfrost:

inside jokes are so amazing and powerful like you can say one word one fucking word and have a person on the floor laughing or glaring at you while saying your name in complete exasperation while everyone else is just utterly confused

(via stay-xox-beautiful)



bootykage:

bootykage:

bootykage:

yungflowergirl:

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

this a lie

im literally dating this girl

this a lie

she dont even know how to cook a pancake what is this

(via stay-xox-beautiful)



-radiatemileyray:

Miley Cyrus won the biggest award up for grabs at the VMA’s last night, winning “Video Of The Year” and instead of just going up on stage and taking her trophy, she very kindly took a young homeless man with her to represent the homeless community. She took him as her date then sent him up to collect the award for her, and he had written and said a lovely speech about being homeless and the charity whilst miley looked on in tears. Don’t you ever tell me she doesn’t have a heart of gold, she is an amazing human being.